Relationship Investigation Team
by Robin Roronoa
Summary: Usopp gets roped into being Nami's pack mule while Zoro is out buying supplies for his swords. However, the pair will soon discover that things aren't as clear as they thought. Why would the swordsman lie to his friends? Ace investigative team, Nami and Usopp, are going to find out. Different timeline than my others stories.
1. Chapter 1

_Stupid Zoro._

"Hey, hurry up Usopp."

_Making me pick up his slack._

"We don't have all day!"

_Why's it always me that gets punished._

"We still have another four hours of shopping, so look alive!", called the navigator as she consulted a map with the islands layout on it. This particular stop just so happened to be a consumer's mecca, much to the sniper's chagrin.

"Slow...down...Nami.", panted Usopp, as he slugged along behind her. "I'm not used to all this physical labor like Zoro is."

"Be a man.", said the redhead nonchalantly, dismissing the sniper's complaints with a wave of her hand. "Sanji had to restock our food supply and watch Luffy, and Zoro needs some new cleaning supplies or whatever for his swords, so you're all that's left."

"Glad to know I'm wanted.", huffed Usopp.

"Here, why don't we take a short break, we can stop at that cafe up there.", suggested Nami.

"Wow, really? That's so nice, thanks Nami."

"You're paying though.", said the navigator, giving Usopp a wink over her shoulder before heading towards the swanky looking establishment while he struggled under the weight of all her purchases.

_Stupid Zoro, I'm definitely gonna make him pay., _thought the sharpshooter as he followed Nami into the cafe, taking a seat beside her mountain of bags and parcels containing everything from new skirts and shoes to gardening gloves and shears for her tangerine trees. _Itching powder in his boxers, tabasco in his water bottle, and for the finish I'll slip him some of those sedatives Chopper uses for surgery and mark all over his face. I can probably blame those last two on Sanji since he always has it out for Zoro, and I'm sure Luffy would take the fall for the first, hehe._

"Usopp!", yelled Nami, drawing the sharpshooter out of his vengeful thoughts.

"Gah, what is it, Nami? I think you made my heart skip a beat with your loud yelling.", complained Usopp, holding his chest for emphasis.

"I wouldn't of had to yell if you weren't spacing out in the middle of our lunch."

"Touche, now what did you say?"

"Look behind you.", said Nami, her eyes fixed on some point above his shoulder.

"What's so...", started Usopp, but the words died on his lips as he took in the scene taking place across the street. Usopp's jaw dropped, his mind overloading at seeing the feared "Demon Cutter" Roronoa Zoro holding the smooth hand of Nico Robin, the "Devil's Child" in his own. The pair didn't seem aware of their friends' presence, too engrossed in whatever the other was saying to notice someone spying on them. Usopp watched as the pair paused in front of what appeared to be another restaurant, one that served something more to Zoro's taste by the look of it than the cafe he and Nami were currently patronizing, exchange a few words, and then enter still hand-in-hand.

"Well?"

"Well what?"replied the sniper nervously.

"You saw that right?", said Nami exasperatedly.

"Yeah."

"So what do you think they were doing together? That didn't look like a place that sold stuff for sword care and they looked pretty at ease holding hands.", said Nami.

"That could just be circumstantial.", said Usopp, his brain not wanting to believe what his eyes had clearly seen.

"Oh, come on. Have you ever known Zoro to do anything 'circumstantially'?"

"Is that even a real word?", wondered the curly-haired man skeptically.

"Yeah, I just said it."

"But that doesn't mean that it's right. I could bledferky, but that doesn't make it a word."

"Fine, I'll ask Robin later, after we go and spy on their date.", said the navigator, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Woah, woah, woah, aren't we jumping to conclusions. Maybe Robin's hand was just cold and Zoro offered to warm it up so she would bring up a bunch of morbid facts about frostbite and limbs falling off. Or Zoro could of gotta lost and hit his head, so Robin was leading him through town since his vision was all foggy from the fall. Or they could have been attacked by a giant bee that got honey all over their hands and now they're stuck together."

"Why does it have to be a giant bee? Regular bees make honey too.", interrupted the redhead.

"Well, they'd have to run into a whole swarm of regular bees to get the same amount of honey as a giant one. Besides, don't you think it's more likely that they had trouble fighting one massive, monster bee instead of a bunch of little ones."

"Not as likely as them 'beeing' on a date.", said Nami with an eager smile. She waited patiently for the sniper to burst out laughing after her brilliant pun sank in, but was met with only a blank stare.

"Did you just try and make a joke?"

"Yeah, so."

"Hehe, since when do you try and be funny?", laughed the sniper, holding his gut as tears built up in his eyes. "That was bad even for a comedy beginner."

"Shut up, jerk!", yelled Nami, throwing a fork at the unsuspecting young man as her cheeks colored.

"Woah, be careful.", cried Usopp, ducking for cover under their table.

"What was that about 'bad for a beginner'?", asked Nami, her butter knife twirling in her hand.

"Okay, I'm sorry. You're the funniest girl in the world, just don't stab me.", begged the sniper, his head barely peeking out from below the table.

"Go on."

"And you're pretty, and smart, and the best navigator on the whole Grand Line, and kinda greedy and bossy..." Usopp froze as she slammed the knife's point into the table right in front of nose. "Eek, and you're nice and very forgiving of innocent snipers who will keep their mouth shut from now on, and you're pretty."

"Better.", said Nami, leaning back into her seat, and bringing the knife away from the grateful Usopp's face as he slid back into his own. "Hey, they're coming out!", said the navigator excitedly, shooting out of her side of the booth to get a better view. "Dang, they're not holding hands now."

"See, I told you, circumstantial."

"Well, we're gonna find out. Come on.", called Nami, heading for the cafe's exit.

"Wait, where are we going?", asked Usopp, hurriedly collecting his burdens into his hands.

"We're going to follow them, of course."

"Woah, I would really rather not tick off Zoro and Robin, you know the two people known as demons. The ones that have a lot of swords and A LOT of hands, that can you know hurt us, when they find out we stalked them because we assumed with practically no evidence that they are on a date."

"Don't you want to know if they're on a date or not?"

"Yeah, but..."

"And wouldn't this be some serious leverage to hang over Zoro's head if I'm right."

"Probably, but..."

"And if I'm wrong, I'll even let you pick out some spare goggles while we're shopping."

"Really?", asked Usopp, naturally suspicious of any generosity from the stingy navigator.

"I never lie when it comes to betting."

"Fine, but when we find out they're NOT dating, then you better not cheap out on me. I want some infrared puppies like Franky has souped up in his eyes."

"Deal, now hurry before we lose track of them.", said Nami, exiting on to the street and following the direction she had seen her nakama take. _Zoro, you better be ready to pay up when I get proof. I'll spend all day tracking you if I have to._

"Wait Nami, help me carry some of your stuff!", shouted Usopp, struggling under the enormous weight again as he stumbled his way after her. "I..I think I need some...", started Usopp as his foot caught on steps outside the door. He had just enough time to scream before his nose smacked against the rough cement of the road, the packages crushing his ribs as they fell on top of his sprawled form.

"Usopp, stop messing around, or we'll lose them.", said Nami, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

_Stupid Zoro _"Yeah, sure thing Nami."


	2. Revelations

"Ow, that's my foot, Usopp.", whispered Nami harshly.

"Sorry. Maybe I'd be able to see better if you took some of the bags for me."

"You'd make a poor, weak woman carry all that stuff instead of being a gentleman and not complaining about a such a simple task?", asked the navigator in her best faux-shocked voice.

_If it's so simple why can't you do it? _"It's not like I'm super-human like Luffy, Zoro, and San-"

"Shush, they're stopping.", whispered Nami, shoving the sniper back farther into the alley they had made their spy point since the supposed couple had went in a weapons shop and subsequently come out with a bag of what she could only guess were the sword supplies Zoro had requested allowance for, claiming he needed them to keep his swords in good condition so he could protect her.

"Come on Nami.", whined the sniper. "We've been following them for over an hour and all they've done is go into a book store, do some window shopping, buy some tea from a street vendor, and go into that sword shop. Just admit you're wrong and that what we saw earlier was a fluke.

_Maybe he's right. Maybe Zoro did get lost or Robin might of just wanted to tease him by holding his hand to see how he reacted, that definitely sounds like her. _"Fine, let's just go.", agreed the cartographer, standing up from her crouching position and turning to stretch her aching limbs only to have Usopp pull her back into the shadows of their hideout.

"Or maybe I'm way off, and you really are a genius.", said Usopp. "Look."

Nami's eyes followed the sharpshooter's finger to land on her crew mates across the street once again, although they were in a very different position than when she had watched then only moments before. Zoro's hands were no longer loaded down with the day's purchases, and were instead pressing into the archaeologist arched back as his mouth moved against her own.

"Oh, man.", breathed Nami, sinking back into her crouch. The pair stayed absolutely still, afraid the smallest of sounds or movements would tip off their canoodling nakama to their presence.

"I wouldn't believe this was happening if I wasn't watching it.", whispered Usopp. He was awed at the revelation of his friends' secret relationship, even more so by the fact that no one even knew about it, not even Nami who was Robin's closest friend and confidant by all means, nor himself the 'Great Detective Usopp'. Their crew was together constantly, day and night, how could the two have found the time to get so comfortable with each other they couldn't contain themselves long enough to keep from groping each other in public? _How long has this been going on? Wait, what will it mean for the crew? Does Luffy know, no he wouldn't be able to keep a secret? And when did Robin start liking Zoro, and when did Zoro start liking girls, period? Oh no, this isn't some 'friends with benefits' kind of thing. That would totally throw off of the whole dynamic of the crew if Zoro and Robin are...are...having...sex. _Usopp blushed at the thought. Pictures of the muscular swordsman pushing the archaeologist onto her back in the Crow's Nest, their skin glowing as the moonlight bathed their nude bodies in it's dim shine, the two completely drunk on the other's taste as hands roamed over unexplored bodies in the safety of nighttime.

"Wait, where are they going?", said Nami, interrupting the sniper's unintended fantasy. "There's nothing down that way, it's just an abandoned side street.", complained Nami, referencing the map she had purchased earlier in the day.

_Man, I need to stop hanging around Sanji and Brook, those perverts are rubbing off on me. Was I actually thinking about Zoro and Robin hav-...no, no, that's ridiculous. He was probably just getting a crumb off her lip with his mouth. Okay, even I don't believe that one, but there has to be a logical explanation. _

"What the heck are they doing? I can't see anything.", whined Nami, stretching her neck to try and glimpse into the alley across the street. "We need to get closer."

"No, we saw them kiss, that's good enough.", said Usopp, eager to be done with they're supposed spying. At this point he felt more like a pervert peeping on a couples' romantic escapades than a curious friend trying to get dirt on a certain swordsman. "We can talk to them about it later, and find out what's going on."

"No way. They would both just deny it if we bring it up back on the ship, I want to catch them in the act, right here, right now.", admitted Nami, a devious look in her eye. _I'm totally gonna own that muscle-head when he finds out I know he's been messing around with Robin. Hehe, maybe I'll raise his interest to 900%! _

"Uh Nami, you okay?", asked Usopp, the evil grin spreading across the redhead's face scaring him as well the Beri signs that had replaced her eyes. _Zoro is so screwed._

"Perfect, now let's go bust them." Nami stood from her previous hiding spot and started weaving her way across the street towards the alley she had seen the guilty couple duck into. "Ah hah!", yelled the navigator, rounding the corner into the dark backstreet, her finger pointing accusingly at the currently engaged couple. Nami smirked at the shocked pair as they quickly tried to separate from each other and appear casual after her declaration, but it was too late. She had seen the historian pressed against the brick building's side, her hands running over Zoro's exposed torso, caressing his sculpted abs as her tongue explored his mouth. She had watched Zoro fight for dominance in the kiss as his hands groped and pinched Robin's backside, both completely focused on their current activities.

"Nami-san.", said Robin, her voice unusually airy and her cheeks a pale shade of pink. Most likely due to the heated kissing she had just witnessed, thought Nami.

"Yes, Onee-chan.", said the navigator sweetly.

"Stupid witch, what do you want?", cut in Zoro angrily. He had finally gotten to spend an entire day with his girlfriend, free of the crew, and now that greedy navigator had to come and ruin his and Robin's make-out session. It was bad enough having to sneak around from most of the crew just to get a kiss goodnight and some quick making out, or spend the night talking in the Crow's Nest only to have to sneak into their respective bedrooms before their bunk mates noticed their absence. He just wanted to give Robin the nice, normal date she deserved without either of them having to worry about being caught, and here Nami had to come and mess everything up.

"Now, now Zoro, is that really how you should talk to someone who knows your secret?", asked Nami innocently, her smirk ever present.

"Nami-san, we can explain.", started Robin anxiously, as Usopp came panting around the corner, the packages tumbling out of his grasp as he collapsed on the ground.

"Usopp's here?", asked Zoro.

"Yeah, he had to tote around my purchases since you were too busy 'buying sword cleaner'. I guess this is what you were talking about."

"Hi...guys...this was...Nami's idea.", panted the sharpshooter. "I told her...to leave...you alone...on your...date.", choked out Usopp, his body finally losing consciousness after being physically exerted all day.

"Nam-", tried Robin again.

"Yeah, this is exactly what I was talking about. I wanted to spend the day with my girlfriend, instead of wasting it following you around and being your stupid pack mule.", said Zoro, all previous apprehension gone from his voice.

"Wait, you're just admitting it?", said Nami shocked.

"Zoro-kun, are you sure about this?", asked Robin, turning to face the swordsman. They had agreed to let their relationship bloom a little, make sure that this was what they both wanted before they revealed anything to the crew, but now...She was sure of her feelings for the young man standing beside, she loved him, of that she was certain, but did he actually feel the same? Could he see them walking by each other's side for the rest of their lives, holding each other close every night, being together...forever? She wasn't sure she was ready to hear if he didn't, she was enjoying their time together, no matter how scarce. Never had someone cared for her in the way she thought Zoro did, wanting to waste hours just hearing the sound of her voice, sleeping with their head in her lap just so they could feel close to her, holding her as she shook when the demons of her past robbed her of sleep. Never had anyone wanted her so much, wanted just her."

"Yeah, big deal. So Robin and I are together, I couldn't care less that you know, so don't think you can manipulate either of us because you found out.", said the swordsman confidently, moving to wrap his arm around the historian's waist. "I love Robin, so go ahead and go tell the others, you'll actually be making my life easier since we won't have to sneak around.", finished Zoro sternly. He looked around the see the shocked faces surrounding him, even Usopp had suddenly awakened at his loud declaration. "What?"

"Wow, I didn't know, I mean I never thought Zoro would be that serious about a relationship.", breathed Nami.

"Good for you guys.", added Usopp encouragingly. Happy relationship was much better than cheap sexual favors like he had feared.

Zoro ignored the other two, his eye firmly fixed on the raven-haired woman he was holding. "Robin, you okay?", asked the moss head nervously. Not many things rattled Robin, seeing her stock-still and slack-jawed was making worry. Had he screwed up and assumed too much? Did she want to try and cover up their involvement instead of coming clean? The last few months they had been getting closer and closer, but was she embarrassed by him, was he just a passing whim to her? Had he jumped the gun confessing his feelings like that? He meant every word he said, he truly love her, of that he was positive, but was she ready to hear that? Had he scared her off by moving to fast, did she not feel the same?

"That's the first time you said it.", breathed Robin, finally gaining control of her uncooperative body. "Did you...did you me-"

"Of course I meant it.", interrupted Zoro. "I love you, Robin and I'll tell you it as many times as it takes for you to believe me. I don't care if the crew kn-"

"I love you too.", interrupted Robin, her face lighting up. "I love you, Zoro."

Zoro smiled back at her, both completely giddy about the other's confession. They were both in love with each other, and now they had confirmed their feelings to the other, pushing aside all past doubt and worries with three little words. Three words that were the best description of all the crazy, unfamiliar emotions swirling within them as they leaned in, their lips barely touching as they held on to the other. This was new to both of them, neither could be called an expert in caring, romantic relationships, but they both wanted to try, because regardless of what happened they loved each other. Everything else would just have to fall into place.

"Aw.", cooed the sniper and navigator, both tearing up at the heartfelt scene between their normally serious and deadly nakama.

"This is so cute.", cried Nami.

"Tch, can't you see were in the middle of something, witch.", huffed Zoro, reluctantly pulling back from Robin's sweet kiss.

"Don't be a jerk! I'm happy for you guys, and don't worry Zoro, I won't tell the others when we get back, or raise your interest rate. This can stay between the four of us.", said Nami, proud that she was such an amazing and generous friend.

"It's actually five, Luffy already knows.", said Robin.

"Wait, why does he know?", asked Nami and Usopp harshly.

"I'm the first mate, I can't keep things from my captain, especially if something that if it went wrong it could affect the whole crew, and Robin didn't feel right about keeping something from Luffy after all he's done for us. I'm mean we might not have even meant if it wasn't for that idiot.", laughed Zoro.

"I like to think we would of found each other anyway, but Luffy certainly sped up the process." agreed the archaeologist.

"And I think it's about time we let everyone else no about us. If that's alright with you, Robin."

"My thoughts exactly."

"So then it's settled, Nami and Usopp are going to leave, and we can finish what they had to come and interrupt before continuing our date.", said Zoro, pulling Robin against his chest.

"Gah, you can at least wait for us to leave! Come on Usopp, get the bags.", called Nami as she walked back towards the street. "Don't stay out too late, and have fun, kids."

"Tch, stupid girl.", huffed Zoro.

"Wait, Nami! I don't think my body can handle lugging all this stuff back to the Sunny.", exclaimed the sniper as he crawled over to her. "I think I have like three broken bones and nine torn muscles."

"Leave them here and I'll carry them back, just go already.", sighed Zoro, already tired of the pair's antics.

"Thanks Zoro, you're a life saver.", yelled Usopp, springing up and running to the cartographer's side.

"Oh and Nami."

"Yeah."

"Wait for us to get back, before you tell the others, I want to see the look on Love Cook's face when he finds out."

"Yeah, whatever.", agreed Nami, turning the corner as Usopp trailed after her.

The couple watched until their friends were out of sight before turning to address each other.

"You're okay with all of this right? I know I kinda just said a bunch of stuff without asking if you were okay with telling them. You can tell me if you're mad or if yo-", stuttered Zoro before Robin's soft lips cut off his speech. She held their position for several seconds before pulling back, her hands coming to cup the swordsman's cheeks as his slid over her back, holding her close.

"I meant what I said earlier, so I have no qualms about our friends knowing about us, in fact I'm rather excited about the prospect of not having to sneak kisses in storage rooms or wait for Nami to fall asleep just to come up and keep watch with you."

"Good, because so am I. I love you, Robin.",whispered the swordsman, burying his face in her hair and breathing in her intoxicating scent as his lips pressed light kisses against her neck. "I really, really love you."

"And I love you, Zoro-kun.", whispered the historian, her hands stroking his scalp though his short green hair. The pair stood there content at the day's revelations. Who would of thought Nami would be the one to bring them closer together? They would have to remember to thank her later for the interruption that sparked their confession, but for now it was just them, and they were fine with that.


End file.
